Our Story: Part Four

At the beginning of the year (2010) we started going to a natural doctor to make sure that everything else in our bodies was running soundly and that our nutrition was in order. We figured that since we were trying to have a baby it would be wise to make sure that we were getting all the nutrition necessary for our bodies to function properly and for my body to carry a baby.

I wasn't comfortable with the idea of going back to the OB-GYN because we had received a word that we would conceive naturally. For quite some time I struggled with the idea that if I went to the doctor I would not be walking in faith. It was actually torment in my mind. A constant battle of what we should and shouldn't do. Believing that God would fulfill His promise and not wanting to do something that would jeopardize it.

At the end of the year we had finally determined that it would be okay for us to visit my OB-GYN to double check that everything was in order and that we weren't missing anything. This decision was made with perfect peace. We really felt that God was leading our steps and comforting us the whole way. My favorite part was having them do blood work on me and finding that my hormones were normal and that there were no signs of PCOS whatsoever! God had healed me, just as I already knew, but now could physically see.

At that point, my OB found nothing wrong with me and told us it was Jason's turn to be tested. We knew that there was a possibility that there could be a problem with him due to his past (which he has requested to be private). So, on the short note in respect to him, we did find there to be a problem that required surgery. He went through with the surgery in March of 2011. At this point we have been told that if we don't get pregnant our only option is a fertility doctor.

Truth be told, we have discussed going to the fertility doctor many times. Each time we have come to the conclusion that this is not the road that God wants US to go down. (This may be different for you). I have discovered that no matter what avenue you go down, and no matter if you wanted the child or not, every single conception is, quite simply, a miracle. If you truly understand what has to happen in order for this life to be formed, you would see how much it requires the artistic and loving touch of a Creator.

When I realized this, I began to realize that no matter what I do, which doctor I go to, in the end it's up to God. I have absolutely no control over the situation. Let me tell you, that's a really difficult and beautiful place to be. Difficult because it's not easy not being able to control the situation. Beautiful because it requires a level of trust and dependence on God that would never develop if we were never in a situation we couldn't control.

I have been brought to complete surrender in my life.