The intent of this blog is to be able to bless and walk with women who have been struggling with conceiving. This is not an easy road to walk and there are so many women out there who are walking it alone. I feel that I should start with my own story.
My husband and I have been married for a little over six years. May 20, 2006 was the beginning of marriage for us. When we were first married we knew that someday we wanted to have kids but "not right now." This is so common among couples and can be a very healthy decision. It gives you the ability to be a married couple without the distraction of children.
Within a couple of months of marriage we had good reason to believe that this plan may not have worked out to our liking… But then, we were 'delightfully' surprised to find that we were wrong. You see, my cycles used to be like clockwork. I could tell you the day and almost the time that they would start. So, when you're a day or two or three late, that's not normal. The first time this happened was July of 2006. It happened again in August, only this time my cycle went longer. Then again in September. In September my cycle never started at all. In fact, I thought for sure we were pregnant even though every pregnancy test was a negative!
As the months went by and we kept thinking we were pregnant, our brains started processing the idea of actually having children and what it would mean. Our hearts started changing to the idea that we might actually like to have children sooner rather than later. If you've never been in this place, you won't understand. This plays with your thoughts and your heart. It makes you evaluate your life and when you look at each life as a blessing and a miracle, you realize that if you had one of these little blessings, your life would be even more blessed even if it wasn't what you had originally planned.
We decided that we should go to the doctor when October arrived and my cycle hadn't come to a close… I went in to the Gynecologist and they ordered blood work. This came back negative to pregnancy. Which then led everyone to wonder what was really going on.
My doctor noticed from the blood work that my hormones were off and they were possibly indicating Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. So she decided an ultrasound was in order. When that was complete, it was confirmed that I did, without a doubt, have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS).
When I received a phone call that the test results were back and that the doctor would like to see me again, I scheduled the appointment. When I arrived and my doctor came in, she was surprised to see me because I didn't have questions. I was surprised she wasn't telling me what I was supposed to be doing now about this diagnoses. The one question my doctor did ask was if we wanted to try and have kids. With that, we were given the following options:
If yes, you would go on Metformin.
If no, you would go on birth control.
I was not told how I came to have PCOS, what causes it, how to get rid of (if that is even an option), or any information about the meds I was being offered. Simply, 'this drug or this drug'.
Now, I have to put a disclaimer in here. To the credit of the doctor, at that time, there truly was not a lot of information available on PCOS. At least this was my understanding.
By this time, Jason and I had decided that we did want to try to have kids. But it was a very laid back decision. More or less, if it happens it happens. We never suspected that the road we were just beginning to walk was going to be a very long and painful walk. This is a journey that I truly wish no soul would ever have to bear.
On the positive side, we have been through so many things that I would never replace in my wildest dreams! I have learned things and experienced things I never would have been able to without this journey. In the end, this is still my journey. One that God can make into something beautiful. Out of ashes and pain, He makes beautiful things.
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